Great Prizes to be Won!

Did I mention that I hate squirrels? Other than the fact that they are cute, furry, and look photogenic in animated cartoons, there is absolutely no reason for their existence. Really, they're just rats with great P.R.

Any gardener can tell you horror stories of squirrels who've looted their garden bare, especially if there are any tulip bulbs in it. It seems that tulip bulbs are the truffles of the squirrel world; the little rodents will line up for blocks if your bulbs are particularly tasty.

But how to get rid of the critters? My time-tested and trusty standby, planting stinky marigolds, just doesn't cut it--apparently the squirrels loose in my backyard have no sense of smell! Human hair (ick) doesn't work, nor does cayenne pepper. The local bandit has even learned to dodge the water cannon that D.H. bought one summer out of sheer desperation. The cheeky little bugger ran like the dickens, but fifteen minutes later, I spotted him sitting up, chowing down on a beautiful ripe cherry tomato. Of course, this particular guy is very discriminating--not just any tomato would do--only the very best for his Highness. The first tomato he took just one bite from and threw away in disgust. I watched to see what would happen. Maybe, just maybe, he'd decide that I was a terrible gardener and move on to the neighbour's lot, where ever so conveniently, there is a CAT. Oh no, instead he sampled another tomato,like the true gourmet he was.

I've tried luring him using bird seed, but then he just hogs it all to himself so that the birds avoid my feeder like the plague.

I'm at my wit's end!

Any suggestion from the gentle reader would be entirely welcome. In fact, as an incentive, the winning entry will receive a complimentary homemade squirrel skin cap.
The first and second runners-up can take home the best of the uneaten tomatoes.

Please enter now!! Enter often!!

(Note to P.E.T.A. members: No squirrels have been, or will be, harmed as a result of this blog. All prizes have been purchased at licensed retailers only.)


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