The Circle of Life

Some people have called the years between forty and fifty the sandwich years--the years where you can find yourself caring for both children (or grandchildren) and parents at the same time. Since my daughter has long since grown up, and is a mother herself twice over, I thought the endless nights of worry and broken sleep were gone for good.

But life is strange that way; when you are expecting a slow pitch, along comes a curveball. Around four years ago, my father began complaining of headaches and dizziness. That was just the beginning. Soon he could no longer enjoy his hobbies--puttering around the house, doing small reno jobs, and learning about the exciting new world of computing. Then bit by bit, small pieces of his memories fell away. First it was how to run software, then how to read and understand instructions, and finally how to write his name. I discovered, to my great shock, that my father who had always loved learning more than anything else in life, had Alzheimer's disease--one of the most devastating long-term conditions that a person and his family could deal with. 

It steals your loved one's memories, his health, his personality, and eventually even his very life. But first it cruelly leaves the sufferer aware of what is happening within his brain while the tangles and plaques of Alzheimer's stealthily invade every grey cell.

So here we are, some four years later, and Dad is no longer living at the place he's called home for so many years. A nursing home, albeit a beautiful and caring one, is where I visit him now. Sometimes during the endless nights I long for those sleepless hours with a new baby again....