New Directions

   The cubicle gnome is tiring of the frenetic pace of her life, and is about to trade in the townhouse in the city for a loghouse in the country. Well, maybe not a loghouse, more of a three-bedroom bungalow. Just call me the roaming gnome!

   To be honest, my new direction is still in the planning stage. It'll be a three year journey, with a lot of learning along the way. Despite being brought up in the country on a hobby farm, there are many things that the gnome has to learn.

   As told to me by a veteran of the country, here are some important lessons:

Lesson #1:  The front end of a cow is a chewing machine; the back end emits the final product.

Lesson #2: Always check for spiders and mice before using the outhouse.

Lesson #3: Water does not just magically flow from taps--conserve it or else you'll be bathing in the cow pond.

Lesson #4:  Chickens are easy to raise, and eating fresh eggs is marvellous, but having fried chicken for dinner means some dirty work is involved.

Lesson #5:  Give up on the idea of sweet-smelling meadows in the spring--think more along the lines of cows, sheep, chickens, etc.

   Now it's off to hit the books for more lessons on homesteading... TTYL